drakenet | OPEN } we stumble we disconnect over and over again

[Jaime’s holding his phone in his hand like it’s a bomb waiting to explode. And yes, he knows what bombs are. Even if he doesn’t understand how they work.]

Do I need to chant some spell…?

[Sydney can be seen partially as she stands off to the side. She’s trying not to laugh, really, and she manages to cover up her amusement with just the barest of smiles. And to think that the mention of magic doesn’t even really bother her all that much anymore.]

No, it’s already going. It started when I had to you push the button.

[Jaime looks surprised. He moves the phone closer to his face, giving a nice, big, super flattering picture of his forehead. Then he moves it back again until he is… mostly in frame. At least he can figure out that much by the tiny moving image of him.]

So I simply… talk to it?

[She reaches up and adjusts the view a little bit so that it’s not...cutting off his chin.]

That’s right. It’ll record your message, and then send it out electronically.

[Jaime nods, careful not to move the camera at all.]

All right. You lot may have been given the title of knight, but so few of you know how to ride a horse. In the land I come from, you’d never have been allowed to leave your father’s house, let alone so much as become a squire. It’s not even particularly hard.

So I’ll be offering my services in teaching those of you who’d like to learn to act like proper knights. Come to the stables at dawn tomorrow if you wish to learn.

[A beat. He looks to Sydney again.]

How do I make it stop…?

[Ever patient, she points out the correct spot.]

You just press the same button again, and then I’ll show you how to send it.

[He touches the button. The screen goes dark.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[After doing as she said she would, showing him how to send the message, she adds:]

I'll teach you how to drive a car if you teach me how to ride a horse?

[He looks at her like a normal person would look at someone who just suggested they have sex with a blood relation.]

Why would I want to do that?

Seems you and I recall squiredom a bit differently. As a page, I had to learn to muck stables and care for my beast before I ever learned to ride it. But, I suppose your father would never make you do that. [ her tone of voice is 100% accusing him of being draco malfoy. because anyone who phrases it as ~leaving your father's house~ is straight up his dad's little bitch as far as alanna's experience goes. mostly because her father didn't allow her to leave anything. she'd done it all her own. ]

[Hey, that’s the look she used to give people. Rude.]

Because if you ride a horse everywhere, eventually you’re probably going to get run over. And that would be sad for the horse.

[Another beat.]

You haven’t been on a plane yet, have you?

Of course I have.

[He acts casual now but HE SPENT THE WHOLE TIME PRACTICALLY SHITTING HIMSELF. Possibly literally. In Westeros they don't shy away from graphic descriptions of bodily functions.]

[Well he doesn't remember his father at all besides a vague sense of foreboding so he's got jackshit to counter that. But he knows how to take care of his horse. So he must have learned at some point, whether from his father or someone else.]

I suppose you had one of those cars and didn't need a horse to go more than a day's journey away from your home.

I'd be careful in calling your knack for supposing any kind of strength, then, given the solid four days ride it takes from Trebond to reach Corus by horseback, where the closest you'll see to a car is a merchant's cart or a ship in Port Caynn. And my home a great deal further than that still, in the southern desert. [ because while trebond once was, it isn't anymore. thom runs their estate, and alanna disappears on adventures for months at a time. her home with the bhazir is the closest to something she could truly call one. ] I daresay I'd hate to see you play cards. [ you suck at reading people, dude. also guessing. also everything. she kind of hates you actually. ]

[Pfft, hate is the first step on the journey to hatesex.

Far from being put out by her insults, Jaime just smirks at her.]

Then you must have learned to ride before leaving, mustn't you? [He pauses to consider, tilting his head in towards the screen.] Though it would explain a few things if you were squired to your own father... [Namely why anyone would have a GIRL for a squire.]

I was squired to my Prince. And learned to ride plenty young, it's true, but my true knight's training required caring for the animal first. While that lesson seems to have escaped you, the codes of knighthood are as important as the physical ability. Protecting the weak, honoring your gods. Humanity. Kindness. It's not a surprise to know you've heard of none of these, but I felt I might mention before you were let loose on the squires to beat it out of them as well.

Edited (canon points fml) 2014-01-16 05:06 (UTC)

Your skills at supposing aren't worth much either.

[Jaime cares very much about the codes of knighthood. He grew up hearing about the brave knights of old and how they were supposed to act. There's something... twisted about them in his mind that he can't quite touch. Doubt that they're worth much. Hopelessness at the idea of following all vows. A lack of naivety, perhaps, that this young woman seems not to have suffered.]

Now, what reason might your prince have had for choosing such a fetching wench for his squire?

[It doesn't take much of a sense motive check to get what he's implying.]

[ this would be 500% less insulting if she ... hadn't actually been fucking jonathan while squired to him, admittedly. but he's not the first to suggest it and he certainly won't be the last, she knows (or perhaps he will - returning to tortall and jon seems unlikely at best). so she snaps quickly; ] Perhaps he wanted the best man for the job.

You're a fool if you think pretty is all a woman's good for. [ because alanna isn't on board for that not like other girls shit. ] I wonder what you'll do with all the fetching ladies who would learn to ride: turn them away, or taunt them for not having a chance to learn sooner?

You are fond of rushing ahead to pass judgment on things I haven't said. [Okay, so maybe he implied it, but it was just as much a judgment on her prince.] I've met many talented women in my time here. Ser Sydney here has just taught me how to use these... [wtf are they called again...] talking devices.

Funny, that. I seem to recall a great deal of fuss about not believing we womenfolk had the mettle for knighthood. Does help with technology threaten your precarious grip on manhood such a great deal less than if she were to swing a blade?

Nothing about you nor any other wench threatens my manhood. [He may still scoff at the idea of a woman wielding a blade, but he relishes being proved wrong. Appreciates what he sees as exceptions, even when they're hardly as rare in this world as in his own.

But just because he appreciates it doesn't mean he'll ever stop snarking. Especially when it gets Alanna so thoroughly fired up.]

It's your own womanhood you should mind. Though I've a feeling lack of marriage prospects won't bother you much.

My womanhood's my own business. [ scowling rn. so intensely. ] And I haven't got to marry just to earn it. I have more important things to be doing. Among them, apparently, keeping our population of squires from turning out like you.

Meanwhile, I'll be out defending the weak and all that chivalrous, knightly stuff you care so much about. But I do wish you luck with your important quest.

Oh, will you? So which of us has been called in for a mission briefing and which is looking for ways to make himself useful staying at home, then?

Just think of all the minds I can corrupt without you there to protect the squires.

Growing up around plenty of knights has left me with a knack for damage control.

Now, how can that be? Seeing as they're all so honorable.

Doesn't mean it came easy to all of them.

Well, it's like that. Faster and more convenient, only not nearly as high off the ground.

Just you, then? You must do your king proud.

[It may be a compliment but he manages to heap on plenty of sarcasm.]

OPEN } we stumble we disconnect over and over again

action;

action;

no subject

action;

action;

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

action;

no subject