broadcast ♔ to hasten the nation towards its destruction

[behindcloseddoors]

♬ annihilation - a perfect circle

[ it's been only a couple of days since the events in Los Angeles, and just as Failboat is heading overseas, and the Section Heads are putting together their plans for a recon mission, a special address from the president of the United States, Donald J. Trump, is announced.

within an hour, he appears, the message going out on TV and internet streams everywhere. ]

By this time, most have heard of the terrible attack happening in Los Angeles right now. There have been a lot of questions, many questions, about what is going on, and what we're doing about it. Believe me, our boys have been on the ground since this has began, some of our best generals, very experienced generals, trying to get a feel for how we can stop this thing and save the people of California. California - beautiful state, LA is a fabulous city - and we will not leave those people to the mercy of whatever evil things are going after them right now.

What we can tell you is that this was an attack on American soil by a powerful Shadowkind, one who is summoning up allies from the other Shadow in our country. Attacks have not been limited to LA. In fact, there have been multiple accounts of violent incidents by these Shadowkind spreading across our country in the months leading up to this. Since the first days of my campaign, I have been pointing out the need to find a way to vet these foreign invaders who appear in our streets, many of them murderers, monsters, armed to the teeth from the second they set foot here.

One thing has been made very clear from all this - these Shadowkind are dangerous. They are not our friends, they are not here to bring peace. We have been infiltrated by enemies from the inside out, by these non-human creatures who have gotten into positions of power in our country, into positions where they can learn valuable intelligence, into positions where they are trusted with our women and children.

That is why as of today, the United States government is declaring a War on Shadowkind. We will be working with our best researchers to find a way to stop the tide of this invasion, and detaining all recognized Shadowkind until they can be evaluated and vetted fully by your government. All Shadowkind are asked to report to their local registration areas, which can be located on the White House website. Failure to report will result in immediate incarceration, and subject to trial.

Now is a time to show our enemies what we are made of and Make America Great Again.

[ with that, he finishes up, to the chaotic mixed reaction of the attendant press. it is announced that there will be no press conference until later that day. ]

Comments

[errantdetective]

[October watches the broadcast. Then, with surprisingly little effort, she casts the disguise spell that blunts her ears and softens the angles of her face until she looks human.

Disguise spells have never come easily to her, but anger's always helped fuel her magic when she needs it. She doesn't need it right now, here in the castle, and she hasn't bothered for a long time since she's been working with the Fae of San Francisco to integrate them with the rest of society, but she sure remembers how.

She's going to go home eventually. And since she has absolutely no intention of registering, she's going to need to go back to hiding.]

[beatupgrass]

[Heeey everyone hanging out in that comfy lounge area, guess who brings his guns with him to Gilmore Girls marathons because he's crazy?

IT'S THIS GUY. Anyway, not only did the necessity for everyone to hear Trump's speech interrupt A Year In the Life, which was already turning into a fucking shitshow, it involves ALL THOSE WORDS.

So Rocket is trying to disentangle his (at least safetied) Excaliburs from the couch cushions while yelling:] You want dangerous Shadowkind?! I'll give you dangerous Shadowkind!

[somepagesturn]

[Over the last few years with the Knights, Paige's more temperamental nature has been curbed by discipline and getting a new focus for any of her... negative energy (revenge was, for a short time, surprising more cathartic than people tell you it is). It's not how she expected things to be, but that's how it is. She's turned her mind far from the life of the Tuneservant who brings inspiration and healing through song, and maybe she's forsaken Milil a bit in doing so- she still loves her god, even if he wasn't her family's god, and that harp pin will always remain over her heart where it belongs, but the seal she got in Barovia is always around her neck, too. And it's guided her more these days.

It reminds her that her anger is justified. That she cannot sit idly by when injustice is allowed to continue. She cannot ignore bigotry and cruelty, especially when it comes from a figure who claims they're more powerful. She expected to harbor this anger towards people like Strahd, not fellow humans.

She left the room before the broadcast was over and she's been in the hall quietly fuming that her own country elected such a monster. She continues fuming until finally her temper gets the better of her and she punches the wall.

...with an attack of 2, which means that despite having all the strength of a kitten, she managed to find THE ONE PLACE in the wall that was shoddily repaired from the castle attack and now her hand is stuck.] Oh... Isn't that just perfect? [Her cheeks flush and she glances around to see if anyone saw that.

...Oh hey, Toby.]

[pathology]

Ugh, Rocket, no! [she yells at him but doesn't ... actually try to stop him bc lol no.] That would just make it worse!

[beatupgrass]

The guy don't even look human! [Rocket waves his gun at the TV, which.. again, thank the man who invented safeties. Jesus Christ, Rocket.] If he bleeds orange, it'll prove nobody should be listenin' to him.

[errantdetective]

[Yep Toby sure saw. Not that she can entirely blame Paige. She feels the sentiment. She raises an eyebrow.]

You. Uh. Need a hand?

[So to speak.]

[spinerip]

This orange man...

[Drax squints at the television.]

He is not Shadowkind? What about the creature on his head? That surely isn't from Terra.

[uncareful]

That’s called a combover. It’s incredibly human.

[ Maggie pauses to scowl at the tv screen. ]

Common amongst those asshats who are weak and incredibly small-dicked.

[somepagesturn]

[Paige looks pathetically at her hand in the wall.] I wasn't expecting the wall to be... quite that thin. Someone must've skimped on the repairwork. Um.

[She nods firmly.] Yes. I do. And- and pun acknowledged. I'd laugh, but I think I have splinters between my knuckles.

[beatupgrass]

Okay, but it does kinda look like it's alive, don't it? Maybe it's what makes him say stupid shit.

[Maybe Trump isn't even real. Maybe it's all just the little creature living on his head.]

[pathology]

Well, people are, because he's rich and had a TV show so people think he's qualified to be president for some reason. [she huffs.] But, but, what I'm trying to say is, if Shadowkind respond with aggression it's just going to make the stupid people who are following him feel safe and justified in killing us or deporting us to the middle of the ocean or whatever he wants to do.

[thrustuponthem]

[Feste throws a shoe at the television, then flips it off. Both with their middle finger and the remote. They're not Shadowkind, but it's the principle of the thing.]

Do I ever not miss the US.

[reallywicked]

This is so fucked up. [Faye pipes up from across the room, finding the nearest seat and flopping into it.] You know he just wanted an excuse to start a fucking war.

[thrustuponthem]

All his talk about how we need a wall, not a veil... [They shake their head.] You know he would have taken any excuse. Just our luck it happened to be something this bad.

[spinerip]

What does the size of his penis have to do with anything? You humans have hangups.

[He shakes his head.]

Rocket's theory is better.

[errantdetective]

That's fair. It wasn't a very good pun.

[Toby moves forward and with a semi-mighty pull (str 14) yanks her free. She's got all sorts of magic, but sometimes, brute force is what's needed.]

So. What'd the wall do to deserve this?

[somepagesturn]

It was there and I was angry, and if I thought about it hard enough, I could pretend it was Trump's stupid spray-tanned face. Ugh! [As Toby yanks her free, her ugh of disgust becomes a yelp and she stumbles back a bit, hissing at the pain.

And then she kicks the wall with a lot less force- more of a light tap really BUT WITH A LOT OF ANGER BEHIND IT.] I just wanted to hit something.

[beatupgrass]

Build a wall somewhere and make us pay for it?

[That is still the dumbest thing he's ever heard, but he lets his guns stay where they are and just sulks.] Well, we definitely ain't goin' nowhere now.

[beatupgrass]

You'd be surprised how many lifeforms have weird symbiotic relationships like that. Or- get this. Maybe the Trump body ain't even real. It's just some weird cyborg shit so the furry head thing can go around in public without attracting attention.

[a beat] Man, humans are stupid.

[reallywicked]

Lava makes for a pretty compelling argument, I guess. [She sighs and pulls out her phone.] Yeah, it's already fucking everywhere. This is going to be such a mess.

[thrustuponthem]

Especially to a president that's already a walking lavatory. [They glance over.] Feste. They/them pronouns.

[spinerip]

And this rule is to hunt down and destroy those that could discover his ruse and reveal him!

[Drax slams a fist on the coffee table lightly, causing cracks to splinter out. Okay, lightly for him.]

This "Trump" creature was wise to create such a moronic looking android. No one would suspect it of such fiendish brilliance. [He squints.] But in addition to the skin tone, he made another error. No human his size has such small hands.

[errantdetective]

They do have punching bags here. They're more satisfying and less likely to get you hurt.

Can't really fault you the sentiment, though.

[beatupgrass]

[Rocket cackles.] Right. It's like he found them in a bargain bin of cybernetics and went "eh. good enough."

[somepagesturn]

Anger doesn't wait for things like... walking all the way to the training room.

[She rubs her knuckles.] I'm sorry. You must be one of the transfer knights- I'm Paige. Well, Sir Lyons if you want to be respectful, but I'd rather you didn't. It still sounds weird.