PRIVATE ☏ to finnick odair

[starfucker]

Finnick.  Babe.  You're fucking killing me over here.  Like taking a machete straight to my balls and letting me bleed out the spot where my scrotum used to be.  Whatever tree-hugging Buddhist-soul-searching-shit you're doing in Europe, I need your money-making ass back here pronto.  We've got the songs locked down for your album, and that Call Me Maybe bitch is going to duet with you on some earworm crapshoot and everything so don't fuck this up for me.  I'm giving you five days.  If you're knee deep in pussy or smack, I'll send a shovel, and you can dig yourself out by then and find your way to your private jet.  

Capiche? 

Comments

[65]

[oh dear lord in heaven. he kind of misses the days when all he had to worry about was killing other little kids and his "agent" was almost-kind-of-senile granny mags. ok maybe not. only a little.]

I was having a family emergency. You of all people should know how ... troubling family can be. But it's taken care of, so I'll be back as soon as I can.

[starfucker]

Let me give you a word of advice, keeping in mind that advice from me is like the golden shit of Jesus H. Christ himself.

Now that you're a bigshot, 'family trouble' is gonna come crawling out of the woodwork because those fucks want power over you so they can all get a slice of the Finnick fame pie.

Cut the cords now. Saves a lot of lawsuits down the yellow brick road.

[65]

You're right, of course. I'll have to do exactly that. [l m a o.] It's just a shame. I don't really have much in the way of family.

[starfucker]

That's great! We can work that angle into your sob story background. [ the most empathetic creature alive, ladies & gentlemen ]

I got a message for your manager too. [ he speaks in a sudden hushed tone, after a pause as if he's checking to make sure no one's listening ] My brother's probably on his way back from the Big Apple. His squirrelly PA showed up today.

[65]

[look, finnick is not even remotely surprised by that. .o. the lack of regard for his family not the pa thing.]

Oh? I didn't know he had a PA.

[starfucker]

A complete schmuck, trust me, but apparently Chad thinks he gets the job done. Name's Olean Gilbert, barely tall enough to suck Chad's dick without standing on his fucking tiptoes. Hard to miss, unless you're not looking down.

[65]

Sounds charming. Do you think he showed up alone just to announce Chad's return or ... what?

[starfucker]

Or to spy on us and find out what act of corporate brilliance I'm up to nowadays?

Either way, I'd feel better if your private dick was stalking his ass.

[65]

I'll see what I can do, but he's a touchy guy. Hard to find if he doesn't want to be found, and currently evading me.

[starfucker]

Might want to work on reining that guy in, if he's your manager.

[65]

No one said he was a good manager.

[starfucker]

To-fucking-che. So I'll see you back on deck before this hangover clears up?

[65]

It'll be like I never left.

[starfucker]

Saves me some paperwork.