private ☏ to christos

[socialgraces]

[ ♬ a fine evening for a rogue - lydia. backdated to thursday, november 21st, the day before the trial begins.

although francesca tries to tell herself it's not strange she hasn't heard from christos in almost five months, her rational mind always loses to the uncertainty of her heart, and it's that which leads her to take the initiative to call him. as he answers, however, her anxiety surrounding the situation intensifies (will save 14) and she seems a little more unsure than a few moments prior. ]

Christos, hi.

Comments

[socialgraces]

[ she's quiet for a moment, before softly answering: ] It's you, holding me back.

[everyredcent]

[ silence for a moment ] I beg your pardon?

[socialgraces]

[ she's s-so glad she's alone as she blinks back a few tears, clearing her throat lightly. this isn't quite the moment for some grandiose confession, she realizes, and instead she offers: ] Um, it's just... before, when you-- when we didn't speak, for so long. I couldn't bear it, again.

[everyredcent]

Those were very ... different circumstances.

[socialgraces]

[ she's not certain how the circumstances are any different, but it's a small comfort, nonetheless ] You're certain? Because I can't lose you, and I'd never want to hurt you. [ see: her aforementioned inability to hurt the one she loves most, at least intentionally ]

[everyredcent]

None of that was about... you.

[socialgraces]

It... wasn't? [ she's relieved by that, for sure, but also a little upset she's felt guilty for so long for apparently no reason. there's also a small part of her that's slightly disappointed by the admission. ]

[everyredcent]

Don't be foolish. [ her emotional honesty has him feeling backed into a corner and so he does what he always does and lashes out. ]

[socialgraces]

[ she's silent for a few moments, unsure if she wants to apologize or snap back ] I'm sorry if it was foolish for me to assume I must have somehow offended you, and, therefore, deserved your scorn.

[everyredcent]

It wasn't scorn. [ he sounds pretty scornful at the idea, ironically. ] Either way, we're miles beside the point.

[socialgraces]

The point being? [ as in his, because this was an important topic of conversation for her, at least ]

[everyredcent]

Whether you choose to put your faith in Val'drin again or not is your own decision. But if you want my opinion, I think it won't yield different results.

[socialgraces]

As it stands now, I think you're right... unfortunately. [ she's quiet, somber, and just sounds plain miserable. it's not val'drin she distrusts, and she wishes she could be enough for him. she just doesn't know how to justify her need to try, even if nothing's changed, because doesn't she at least owe him that much?? ]

If only he would have this conversation with me. [ see, christos. letting her talk about feelings means a lot to her, ok ]

[everyredcent]

The fact that he won't seems rather telling, wouldn't you say?

[socialgraces]

I'd say it's a reasonable exercise is self-preservation.

[everyredcent]

Or perhaps you're making excuses for him.

[socialgraces]

[ your jealousy is showing, christos ... but even with an 18 wisdom check, she tries not to get her hopes up ] What do you want me to say?

[everyredcent]

What I can tell you're thinking. You doubt him.

[socialgraces]

I doubt my ability to ever make him happy. I see how miserable he seems, with or without me, and I'm not sure how to change that.

[everyredcent]

Perhaps being miserable is all he deserves.

[socialgraces]

After what? [ there's a compliment in there that doesn't go unnoticed, even if she might not agree ] That seems a bit harsh.

[everyredcent]

Sometimes the truth is harsh. [ yeah he's not telling. ever. ] But as I said, in the end you'll make up your own mind. For now, I merely hope he's doing the job he was sent to do, and can find a more suitable way to rid us of any drow who might come calling for that hourglass.

[socialgraces]

He's been doing a more than adequate job. It's just going to take us... some time. [ she pauses briefly, taking another sip ] You know I respect your opinion, more than anyone else's? I wouldn't have asked if I didn't care what you had to say, and I really appreciate you listening.

[everyredcent]

Think nothing of it. [ grumble grumble grumble ]

[socialgraces]

[ it's ok, she finds his grumbles super endearing ] You're the only person I can trust to have only my best interest at heart. The only person I trust completely.