[Phone Call for Vi, courtesy of a hotel- WHICH HAVE PHONES EVERYONE]

[nothingsodivine]

[An unknown number is calling your cell phone, Vi.

Maybe you should pick that up.

Or let it go to voicemail.

Whatever.]

Comments

[nothingsodivine]

Point taken.

[yeah, he is... not good at this okay. there was effort made. rafael never even got an apology FOR THROWING JADE UNDER THE BUS. des is just really good at lacking compassion sometimes. he is a terrible friend.]

[graveflowers]

And stop treating us like shit. You're right, you don't have the lock on tragedy. But we still stick by you in our tragedy, we deserve just as much from you. I deserve that much.

[nothingsodivine]

[Des goes very quiet for a long time. If he wasn't breathing on the other end of the line, it would look like he hung up.]

Anything else? [He doesn't sound sarcastic or annoyed. Just tired- deeply, deeply tired.]

[graveflowers]

Yeah. You don't deserve it either. Be kind to yourself, too.

[nothingsodivine]

I deserve a lot worse than what I've got right now.

[And may end up getting it. We just don't know.] But I'll try. As pissed as you are, Vi, no one's ever gonna hate me more than I hate me. I might be a dick, but I'm not proud of it. It's just been so long, I don't know how to change it.

[he sighs.] Rafael and I are cut from the same cloth. And if he thinks he has a hard time figuring his shit out after all this time, then he oughta try walking in my shoes. I've never had to care about people before. I've never wanted to.

But you don't wanna hear that shit from me, I know. I know the routine- stop worrying about why you can't change and start worrying about how you can.

[Another long pause.] I need to stop talking, right?

[graveflowers]

No, you need to stop acting like you're the only person who has trouble caring about people. Jesus Christ, Des. It's not an issue exclusive to you. You thought you were never going to die, I thought I was going to die before I hit twenty. The fact that I survived to twenty seven is a fucking miracle and I'm not being dramatic. You're hunted down because of your curse and because you don't know how to shut up, I was hunted down because I existed. You don't get close to people when you know you're going to die young.

You know how you change? Think before you act, count to three before you open your fucking mouth. You're doing this to yourself. [ that's why she has no pity for him, honestly. he really does bring this on to himself. ] And for fuck's sake, stop comparing. Life isn't a competition, you don't need to one up everyone with your shitty life. Rafael's life is shitty, Myri's life is shitty, Buffy's life is shitty, Elena's life is shitty, all of our lives are shitty. That is life. Just because we're not thousands of years old doesn't mean we don't understand. You're not letting us even try.

[nothingsodivine]

Because I don't know how to explain it. It's not something that's easy to grasp. None of it is.

[There's a thud sort of like him putting his head down on the complimentary hotel desk.

HE DOESN'T WANT PITY ANYWAY. So there.]

[graveflowers]

[ sometimes she feels like she's talking to a brick wall. ] You might want to start figuring out how to explain it then, shouldn't you?

Listen, I have to go. [ no, she doesn't, she doesn't have to do anything. she just wants to not be having this conversation anymore, frankly. she shouldn't have to be the one cramming common sense and reason down his throat. right now she is just too tired to slam a sledgehammer into that brick wall. ]