text ♔ to alex

[bittersweeter]

[ a couple of weeks after alex's birthday, after sending her apology card, lila texts alex like thirty pictures from their aquarium adventure and SHARKS and also, ]

I was an asshole. You were saying no and it made me feel bad so idk I wanted to make you feel bad too and I was a bitch. It was a genuinely mean thing to do. I'm sorry.

[ and then she jams her phone in the couch and climbs into the shower so she doesn't have to dwell on whether or not he answers. a+ coping. ]

Comments

[ambitionist]

That's what I was good at in the mob, when I was coming up. Eventually I made it to middle management, so I didn't have to do it so much, but ... yeah, when I was around your age, that's when I was a torture Picasso. Most of the guys would just break bones. That shit's boring to me.

[bittersweeter]

Torture Picasso. [ she sighs happily, tucking her head against his shoulder. ] That sounds beautiful.

[ambitionist]

Yeah. Ran me ragged, but it was a good time.

[bittersweeter]

[ she pats his arm fondly. ] I'm glad you're less torture-y now.

[ambitionist]

Yeah, me too. I did blow out a guy's eardrums in Russia, though. Poor schmuck.

[bittersweeter]

Aww, that sounds painful. [ also awesome, just saying. her words say painful, her tone says awesome. ]

[ambitionist]

It was incredibly painful from the way he was carrying on. But, I mean, he could've had it worse. The ones that don't scream because there's too much pain to do anything are usually worse off than the ones who do.

[bittersweeter]

I like it when they stop screaming. It's always so high pitched and shrill, like Jesus, quit it.

[ambitionist]

Yeah. I used to kill the vocal cords, too. I mean, just temporarily. To psyche them out. And for my own comfort.

[bittersweeter]

I wish I could do that. I guess I have a silence spell, but it'd be so nice to do it in one go. People should just shut up once they're asleep.

[ambitionist]

We're pretty awful, aren't we?

[bittersweeter]

Yeah, but I love us. [ nestling against him like he's a teddy bear pillow. ]

[ambitionist]

[he relaxes an arm around her shoulders.] Yeah, me too.

[bittersweeter]

[ she hums an agreeable noise and after a few minutes of watching, she yawns. now that the anxious feelings from their fight are finally ebbing, the exhaustion she's been holding back hits her like a truck as the adrenaline flags. ]

I'm gonna fall asleep. [ another yawn precedes a slow exhale. ] Don't leave, okay?

[ambitionist]

Uhhh ... okay.

[bittersweeter]

[ such a good pillow. anyway she abruptly passes out lightning fast with no preamble. boom. ]