Craigslist Posting: Vampire Looking for Undead Friends

[bigbad]

I'm a vampire who's been in this world for about a year. Though I've made lots of living friends, I'm a bit lacking in people to talk to about vampire issues, trade blood recipes, sunlight blocking techniques, etc. Email spike@karthurinstitute.org if you want to talk.

PS Serial killers and Twilight fans need not respond.

Comments

[bigbad]

funny you seemed to enjoy my feelings well enough when we were shagging.

[slay]

that doesn't mean i feel the same, or that i ever could.

[bigbad]

so you've said, time and time again. if your lack of feelings were enough to make me stop loving you, we'd be all set. unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. i still love you.

[slay]

well i don't want you to.

[bigbad]

i guess neither of us gets what we want.

maybe some nice vampire lady will answer the ad and i'll move on.

[slay]

I don't think dating another girl while you're in love with me counts as moving on.

[bigbad]

do you have any better ideas? besides lots of drinking because i'm already trying that one.

[slay]

watch 500 days of summer, relate to it on a personal level, lather rinse & repeat until the message sinks in

[bigbad]

[Yeah he is... actually watching that to find out what the fuck she means. But his wis 11 means he doesn't get it. Maybe next time.]

look meeting other vamps is a good idea, whether or not they can tell me about what happened. i know next to nothing about what i am. if you could find someone else like you, wouldn't you try it?

[slay]

in a heartbeat.

[bigbad]

i hope you do someday.

[slay]

unlikely.