Craigslist Posting: Vampire Looking for Undead Friends

[bigbad]

I'm a vampire who's been in this world for about a year. Though I've made lots of living friends, I'm a bit lacking in people to talk to about vampire issues, trade blood recipes, sunlight blocking techniques, etc. Email spike@karthurinstitute.org if you want to talk.

PS Serial killers and Twilight fans need not respond.

Comments

[allmydreams]

[oh, there are so many responses to this.

So many.

Truth: Felicity trolls Craigslist looking for people to troll when she's bored, and no, she doesn't miss that the email address for this guy is part of her new boss's cover. This is not a way to make friends. She can't really bring herself to care.

She pulls up an old, no longer used email address as her cover, quickly changes the contact information so that it's not recognizable and writes a short email.]

That's brave, putting yourself out there like that?

[bigbad]

[Hey, a response! He frowns at it, wondering if it's a vampire or just someone ]

I figure the worst case scenario is I deal with wannabe creatures of the night, and I doubt they can fool me for long.

[allmydreams]

[Just someone, technically, but she's not going to play it that way.]

Really? And just how would someone give themselves away?

[slay]

You're an idiot.

[bigbad]

By not having fangs, for a start.

[bigbad]

and you're not a vampire.

[slay]

gee figure that one out all by yourself, didja? must be that keen vampire perceptiveness that you totally lack

[allmydreams]

And how do we know you do?

[bigbad]

I'm doing this for you, so stop complaining.

[bigbad]

I'm the one asking, aren't I?

[allmydreams]

And that so guarantees your honesty? This is the internet, you could be ANYONE.

[ ... she really should stop but she can't.]

[bigbad]

So could you. Are you even a vampire?

[slay]

what does your weirdo craigslist posting about vampires have to do with me?

[bigbad]

I'm hoping I'll find a vampire who knows something about vampire stds.

[slay]

that sounds a whole lot more like it's for you than for me. i already got my issue cleared up, and that is never happening again, ergo - you wanna clear up whatever you've got, that's your business. not mine.

also sneak attacking them with std questions makes you one of those creepy types on craiglist A+

[bigbad]

don't you want to know what it is? still hasn't done anything to me.

and it's not like that's my own question. i don't know any vampires you know. seems like knowing more of my kind could be useful.

besides it was kat's idea.

[slay]

you talked to KAT about this?!

[bigbad]

she brought it up! you must've told her cause i haven't said a word.

[slay]

i only told her because i needed her help to get undiseased! i spent two days feeling like i was DYING because of you!

1/2

[bigbad]

i can make sure it never happens to anyone else. if i can find out anything, that is.

[bigbad]

i'd have helped, you know. if you'd let me. don't know what i could have done, but i could have been there.

[slay]

i thought vampires were supposed to have self-preservation.

shouldn't you know when 'never gonna happen' means it's time to just back off for your own sake?

[bigbad]

i love you. i can't just get over that like it's nothing.

[slay]

and i don't love you.

i'm not gonna just come around if you wait like a puppy long enough.

all you're doing is hurting yourself so excuse me for not enjoying that you're using me to do it

[bigbad]

funny you seemed to enjoy my feelings well enough when we were shagging.

[slay]

that doesn't mean i feel the same, or that i ever could.

[bigbad]

so you've said, time and time again. if your lack of feelings were enough to make me stop loving you, we'd be all set. unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. i still love you.

[slay]

well i don't want you to.

[bigbad]

i guess neither of us gets what we want.

maybe some nice vampire lady will answer the ad and i'll move on.

[allmydreams]

Of course.

[bigbad]

Can you prove it?

[slay]

I don't think dating another girl while you're in love with me counts as moving on.

[allmydreams]

Can you?

[bigbad]

do you have any better ideas? besides lots of drinking because i'm already trying that one.

[bigbad]

You're wasting my time.

[slay]

watch 500 days of summer, relate to it on a personal level, lather rinse & repeat until the message sinks in

[bigbad]

[Yeah he is... actually watching that to find out what the fuck she means. But his wis 11 means he doesn't get it. Maybe next time.]

look meeting other vamps is a good idea, whether or not they can tell me about what happened. i know next to nothing about what i am. if you could find someone else like you, wouldn't you try it?

[slay]

in a heartbeat.

[allmydreams]

You're the one who is trying to draw us to you. If anyone should be asked to prove themselves it should be you.

[bigbad]

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

[bigbad]

i hope you do someday.

[allmydreams]

Go right ahead.

[slay]

unlikely.