private ♔ (video.)

[wynn]

[  you might have guessed this was coming, failboaters.  in the wake of the concert tragedy, wynn contacts each of you individually, and asks you to conduct a private video conference with him as a debrief of the events that transpired.   and also to check in on everyone, because that was... traumatic.  

everyone must reply to this post as a new thread for their private convo.  if you don't have time / want to handwave, we can discuss what gets said oocly, just let me know ]

Comments

[witchwoman]

[Catching Myri alone is hard but once she knows that Wynn needs to speak with her, she finds time to slip away onto one of the balconies. She sits on a chair outside with Amaranth in her lap, so if you're wondering what that black swish is, it's just his tail.]

Good morning, Sir.

[wynn]

And to you as well, Sir de Tanos.

I imagine you know why I'm calling.

[witchwoman]

The concert. [She says simply, nodding and letting her gaze drop to the flywacket in her lap.] And I'm sure you've heard of Jade's fate in the time since?

[wynn]

Sir Gar has informed me. I was sorry, to hear of her passing.

[witchwoman]

We... did all that we could. [But she doesn't believe that. It feels like a lie to her, even if it's the truth. And Myri isn't a very good liar when it comes to people in this family of hers- which includes you, daddy wynn (bluff 4).]

[wynn]

There's nothing you would alter, were you given the chance to relive events?

[witchwoman]

I... [She hesitates, then lets out a shaky breath as she struggles to keep her emotions in check (will 14)] Perhaps if I hadn't told the man that I had what he was looking for... Maybe it wouldn't have happened as it did? Or if I had been faster, perhaps I could have done more good at the concert to have given her more of a chance later on. Or at the hospital, I... [She turns her head sharply, because what would she have done differently? Given her life? At the time, she might have but now she doesn't know how to answer that question.]

I would have done a thousand things differently, given the chance, just to see if it might have made a difference.

[wynn]

[ in a very calm, quiet tone: ] Tell me what you did do.

[witchwoman]

[She hasn't really thought about it since it happened. Thinking about the past when there were so many people to worry about now was hard for Myri. She closes her eyes briefly and puts herself back in that place, at the concert.]

The lights went out. I followed Finnick to find the others and we tried to make some semblance of a plan. Buffy asked me to find Burt, and- [She hesitates, purposefully skipping over the part where Finnick asked her to leave them all behind] I started to seek him out, but the man on stage, he... He started shouting and telling us to be still. He wanted something, something Jade had? She had only just begun to remember who she was, and he had a gun to her. I couldn't just-! [She's getting worked up about it, and upon realizing that, tries to calm down.] I told him I had it- whatever it was. I just wanted to buy the rest of them some time. I thought if I could distract him, they might be able to do something. But it only made him angry. Violet tried to pull the attention away from me, and then... I'm not certain what happened. Jade was moving and Rafael... it was like he knew where she would be next, but something went wrong and...

After that, it's hard for me to clearly remember. I know I climbed on stage. I've seen the video of it, at least. I tried to heal her, but I was only able to keep her stable until the police arrived. They wouldn't let me stay with her.

And at the hospital, I... I tried again, but the others wouldn't let me. Not after I told them- [And she stops, because she hasn't really told Wynn about that restriction to her gift and she isn't certain if he'll allow her to stay if he knew.] They were worried about me.

[wynn]

And that is everything? [ there's a hint there, an implication that he understands that she edited one or more parts of that story and he's giving her one more opportunity to be forthright about them. ]

[witchwoman]

[She won't tell him about Finnick. It isn't her place, but the rest? She takes a deep breath and tells herself that she has to trust him. He has given her so much and keeping something like this about herself from him feels wrong.]

I asked the others to watch me at the hospital, to make certain that I didn't lose myself to my healing. There have been times in the past where I have found myself unable to stop, even at the risk of my own life.

[wynn]

And you believed there was a good chance that you might have succumbed to this, if it meant saving Jade?

[witchwoman]

It's all I have to offer here, the chance to save them. ['Them' being the others, her friends, her family.] How could I ever walk away from that?

[wynn]

'All' you have to offer?

Any cleric can heal. Do you think the others would not notice, nor care, were I to recall you and send a different cleric in your place?

[witchwoman]

That isn't what I meant. I know that they care about me, that they would miss me if I were ever to leave. But... I can't fight like some of them- with fists or guns. Or use the sort of magic Kat can. Or plan like Gar.

[She holds out her hand in front of the phone for him to see. Her emotions are running too high and while she isn't angry, she is a bit more... intense.]

This is what I can offer, what I can do to earn my keep. And if it had been any of our Knights, I am not certain if anything they had tried to do would have kept me from keeping them alive.

[wynn]

[ gently, but determined to make a somewhat difficult to hear point, he says carefully: ] Sir de Tanos, while your selflessness is admirable, you must realize that what you have to offer to your teammates - to those you care about, as they care about you - you can only continue to offer while you are still alive. When you are gone, should you make that ultimate sacrifice, they would remain behind, to face the odds without their healer, without the strength you provide for them.

While I would not ask you to regret the thought of such sacrifice, I can ask you to consider that your own life has value as well, and that you must keep in mind the ramifications of what it means to shoulder a responsibility to survive as well, to survive so that you might save others not only in that moment, but in every future situation you might be forsaking with your death.

It is the most difficult call we can be asked to make: choosing when not to make that sacrifice.

[witchwoman]

[She falls back against her chair, slumping slightly like a scolded child, because no matter how gentle he might try to be with his words, she's been hearing that sort of thing since she ever first brought it up.]

It isn't always a choice. There have been times when fighting against my instinct is a losing battle. Why do you think I told them to begin with? I trust them to keep me safe, just as I would hope they trust me.

I know that I cannot leave them. Watching everyone now- and there were some who barely knew Jade, but death brings so much pain to those who must live through it. I would never wish to put any of them through this again.

[wynn]

I am glad to hear it. And that you chose to be honest with them, to ask for their assistance.

[witchwoman]

I worry that they'll focus too much on what I'm doing and lose focus on the greater need. But we will see how things go.

[wynn]

Balance comes with experience. They will find it, no doubt.

[witchwoman]

[She nods and focuses on the flywacket in her lap for a moment because he helps keep her calm.]

It doesn't get easier, does it? Is it always going to feel like we're on the edge of losing one another?

[wynn]

There will always be danger, and an element of uncertainty, but as your skills grow, so will your trust in one another to pull through.

[witchwoman]

Will you- [She stops, because there's no good way to ask this question without feeling silly.]

When the mission ends- we won't necessarily remain together, will we?

[You gave her this family, Wynn. She kind of got attached.]

[wynn]

There will be other missions - other teammates looking for the benefit of your experiences.

[witchwoman]

[She nods and looks away again.]

Are we allowed to... make requests?

[Look she's kind of in love with one of them, so...]