private ♔ (video.)

[wynn]

[  you might have guessed this was coming, failboaters.  in the wake of the concert tragedy, wynn contacts each of you individually, and asks you to conduct a private video conference with him as a debrief of the events that transpired.   and also to check in on everyone, because that was... traumatic.  

everyone must reply to this post as a new thread for their private convo.  if you don't have time / want to handwave, we can discuss what gets said oocly, just let me know ]

Comments

[wynn]

I don't remember claiming that you hadn't. I was asking what you did, and how you felt about the actions that you took. Specifically.

[slay]

Actually not in need of the trauma counseling. Thank you. [ there is nothing remotely grateful about the curt, flat way those words come out. ] It was on national TV, I don't really see what needs clarification. Crazy Guy kidnaps Jade, Rafael tries to solve it, Jade dies, Crazy Guy dealt with. Pretty straightforward, really.

[wynn]

Sir Summers, I'm aware that, however unusual it might be in its duration, this is your first field assignment. Perhaps, therefore you merely are unaware that it is standard debriefing protocol to speak with all Knights regarding the outcome of their missions, or of such dramatic confrontations as the concert the other night.

It is even more necessary when actions taken on that mission even so much as accidentally jeopardize the security, privacy, and reputation of my organization - the one to which you agreed to become a willing member. Unless you have begun to question your decision to do so, I would ask that you abide by our standards, rather than take them as a personal attack.

[slay]

All due respect, but if threatening to fire someone's your way of trying to make them open up and rap about their problems with you, you should really rethink your strategy. Especially considering I don't really see what it is you need to hear from me that you haven't already seen.

You wanna hear that I'm pissed? I am. Of course I am.

That I should have stopped Rafael before he could put all of us in danger like that? Wish that I could have.

That I would do anything to do it over and not get caught up dealing with creepy lizard stagehands so that maybe I could have stopped that psycho before Jade got shot? Yeah. I would. But, it's over, and nobody so much as uttered the word "knight," so your organization's security? Is just fine.

We're the ones who aren't, and talking about our feelings and what we didn't do isn't going to change that.

[ it becomes quickly apparent through the use of 'we' that it's not only herself she's worried about and defensive over. finnick's panic attack and subsequent ptsd, myri's suffering, even vi who'd only just met jade was feeling the loss heavily. elena and dawn were undoubtedly traumatized. everyone seemed to be losing trust in each other, and hope in their mission. ]

[wynn]

[ that seems to be precisely what he was looking for on some level, given his expression. he continues on calmly: ]

I said nothing about depriving you of a position, Sir Summers. My implication was that perhaps you were dissatisfied with it.

I can certainly sense your resolve to see this through. But it's also clear that you blame yourself, quite specifically, for some portion of the loss suffered. However much you may feel that discussing matters is futile, or that you don't require support to move forward, progressing with that guilt weighing upon your future actions will affect the outcome of this mission. I would ask that even if you find yourself unable to discuss the matter with me, that you do not ignore it, or bury it.

You're right, in that discussion won't relieve you of the burden. Action will - making positive strides towards resolution of this matter. But failures have a way of causing us to second guess ourselves as we move forward, and considering you are the one who reminded me only moments ago that you made the best of the situation that you possibly could, I hope that you can recognize that it was the situation that brought about that failure. Not you or your team.

[slay]

Lemme get this straight. You're calling us and making us reflect on our big screw-up so that you can tell us not to take it too hard and it wasn't our fault we screwed up? You don't ... see a little counterintuitive-ity in that? I mean, maybe it's just me, but not getting a call from the boss demanding we explain ourselves, that would be a better way to not feel like I messed up big time.

[wynn]

[ the barely restrained frustration in his voice makes it clear that something she's said has almost insulted him. ]

I am calling, Buffy, because the lot of you have suffered, and even the most well-intentioned, precise report by Sir Gar cannot inform me where that tragedy has left each of you.

No matter what you may think of me, I consider each and every Knight who takes shelter under my roof, eats from my table, and elects to stand up and champion our cause to be what I have of family in this world.

I don't ask that you return the sentiment, but I do ask that you respect my desire to stay abreast of the condition, physical or otherwise of each member of my Knighthood.

[slay]

[ that seems to give her pause, and she looks almost apologetic for how bristly she'd gotten with him. it gets through to her in a way other things hadn't. gaze downcast, she answers. ]

We're taking care of each other. We'll be okay.

[wynn]

I've no doubt of that. But even the tightest bonds may possess cracks, and I would have not have any of my Knights slip through them.

You are at an advantage, having worked with so many of the same members for so long. You know one another, you have seen each other struggle and grow.

[ his brow furrows slightly, a heaviness to his words: ] But it is only in the face of true adversity that we can begin to see who even our closest allies and friends are beneath. And what we discover may not always be what we had come to expect.

It does not always make them more or less deserving of our affection or loyalty, but it may require us to be willing to let go of our preconceptions of who they were and accept them as they are. [ a beat ] I'm certain all of you will be able to do so, and only grow stronger in the days ahead.

You've performed admirably, given the conditions of this mission. I expect great things from all of you.

[slay]

[ as buffy goes silent, taking this all to heart, she sinks deep into thought. while shana may have been reading this with spuffy goggles, buffy is hearing it with rafael goggles and thinking hard on how her view of him has shifted radically over these past few days. she takes a moment to mull it over, allowing a moment's tense silence before her response comes, showing precisely how thought out it is. ]

Rafael tried to kill himself.

[ remember that deal with des and rafael not to tell anyone about it? yeah, buffy lied. it's down to the wire and she needs to decide which team she's playing for. she may love des and rafael deeply, but the knights are her family - they gave her a home when she didn't have anywhere else. kat, and gar, and myri, even spike - they're the one's who've been with her from the beginning. they're the ones she swore her loyalty to.

realizing this doesn't seem to be as thought out as it actually was, buffy goes on to explain further. ]

He was overwhelmed by his guilt, by the feeling of not being able to do anything good with himself. When he was about to throw himself off a bridge, this woman appeared. She was blonde; the one who made Des what he is. And after she left, three men appeared. Two I'd met before; one introduced himself as Mr. Gray, right before I started seeing the demons.

They all called themselves Mr. Gray. I'd seen the second back at the concert, he ... he did something to Jade. Helped Myri, I think, give her more time. [ wis 23 ] They wouldn't say who they were working for or - or who they really were. But, they gave us a seal. They said if it didn't look like we were going to win the trial, to break it, and they'd intervene.

Des didn't want to tell anyone. I didn't think they needed to hear about what Rafael tried to do. But ... But I think whoever those men and that woman were, they're important. Mr. Gray and co. said she was older and stronger than the gods. Do you - Wynn, you've been around forever. Do you have any idea what this is?

[wynn]

[ he listens intently as she relays the story, and his forehead furrows as he processes it all. finally, he says carefully: ] Stories of these 'Grays': men - sometimes women - intervening in events, possessing knowledge that they should not of the circumstances of those they offer help, I've heard of this before. Several times, across the ages. Not always by that name, but the stories are similar enough to draw the connection.

Unfortunately, the stories provide no answers about who these beings are. But I think it is no stretch of the evidence to assume that they are powerful, perhaps ancient, and that they have some stake in the fate of the course of history. But they have no connection to any organization I have ever known of, nor do they seem to appear by summons. Perhaps this is the very reason they keep their identities cloaked: names can possess great power, among some of the eldest creatures of this realm.

[slay]

And are they good? When they show up, do they help? Do things get better or worse?

[ she's almost scared to ask the question, but that feeling she'd gotten from chibi usa at the concert has stuck with her. something bad wouldn't make her feel like that - would it? ]

[wynn]

The legends paint them, in most cases, as truly benevolent, always holding to their word.

But there are, of course, similar legends of beings offering assistance - or deals - that backfire upon the bargainer. Sometimes they appear in similar form, masking some kind of great evil.

I'm afraid, in this case, your best guide will be your own instincts as to whether they truly mean you well or no.

[slay]

You need a new line. Like ... "shoot for the moon and you'll land among the stars." [ look it's getting cliche to keep saying trust your instincts. it is that tired. the quip was coming. ]

[wynn]

If you'd prefer I gave you orders as to how to proceed, you need merely ask. But I like to trust my Knights to make the right decisions.

[slay]

No! No. No orders necessary. We're good all ... order-less.

[wynn]

I thought so.

I am, however, sending someone along with experience on maintaining aliases: Sir Francesca, who will also offer some counsel in dealing with the legal mess Rafael has found himself in.

[slay]

Nothing says "I have faith in you" quite like sending in a babysitter. [ sigh. her pride is really difficult. ] ... We could use the help. Thank you.

[wynn]

You're welcome. [ he's not even going to address all the ways buffy is misinterpreting the situation there... ] Unless you have anything to ask of me, that will be all, Sir Summers.