text to various

[killingtodeath]

[text sent to Lydia Marin, Adam Weiss, Lila Zacharov, Francesca, and Abigail Hobbs]

THERE IS A TALKING RACCOON IN THE CASTLE.

[text sent to Vi]

Sorry. Also what the actual fuck is going on and why did you bring home a raccoon??

Comments

[immuno]

Like a person in a raccoon suit?

[killingtodeath]

An actual raccoon. Unless it was a midget in a raccoon suit.

[SUDDEN SELF DOUBT. WHAT DID I SEE???]

[immuno]

Can midgets be furries?

[ like that breaks some kind of law of fucking nature omg ]

[killingtodeath]

I don't think it's like a roller coaster with a height restriction.

[immuno]

Of course not. Don't be ridiculous.

But it's still like the triple word score of creepiness.

[killingtodeath]

Why would Wynn have a mission group bring back a midget furry?

[immuno]

Why would Wynn have a mission group bring back a raccoon from Brooklyn?

[killingtodeath]

According to Vi, it's some science project gone wrong.

We somehow upped the creep factor.

[immuno]

No one does science in Brooklyn. They're too bohemian.

[killingtodeath]

Andres. The raccoon is from Brooklyn. The science is from Andres.

I think.

Do they have midgets on Andres?

[immuno]

Was it a midget first or a raccoon first?

[killingtodeath]

I didn't think to ask.

[immuno]

Well maybe you should have thought of that before you texted.

[killingtodeath]

Yeah, next time I see an anthropomorphic sidekick come in with a semi-automatic, I'll check its medical history more thoroughly.

[immuno]

A semi-automatic gun?

[killingtodeath]

No, a semi-automatic tape dispenser.

Yes a gun.

It's fine. There were like 800 knights on this mission apparently.

[immuno]

Shut up.

Wait. Andres? That's where Sir Bancroft was being held. The Dragon's Claw. No wonder he sent so many Knights.

[ nat 20 wisdom check to remember that drama ??? ]

[killingtodeath]

Well unless he got turned into a raccoon, I don't think that mission worked out well for them.

[immuno]

I can't imagine why it would have. Hasn't anyone told you about Dimitris Sarandis?

[killingtodeath]

Not really. That name sounds evil as hell though.

[immuno]

He's the dictator of Andres Isle. It's like a no-fly zone for basic Shadowkind rights.

[killingtodeath]

Torture town, right? Where those knights ended up kidnapped? The whole doppelganger thing?

[He listens!!!

Sometimes]

[immuno]

That's the one.

Are you still with them?

[killingtodeath]

No they went to go talk to Wynn. Why?

[immuno]

I was hoping you could find out more about what happened. Too late now.