drakenet | phone call }{ for des

[the phone goes through to voicemail at first, but she doesn't have long to wait before he calls her back.]

Is the castle on fire?

[that would explain the three am call on your end, gurl.] I mean I didn't think I was the sort of guy a dame misses at 3 AM.

[She doesn't leave a voicemail. She wouldn't know what to say on one at this point. So she just leans back in the chair she's in and closes her eyes. When her phone rings, she jumps, startled, and answers.]

No, no fire. [She takes a very deep breath and just... says it.] Ashley's here. My daughter.

[There's a long, startled pause.] But wasn't she-

[even coming from a place where the dead don't always have to stay that way thanks to the power of clerics, Des is a bit caught off-guard by that. Still, he's not used to the idea of other people not having that option.] That's... That's great, Helen. You got her back.

It is. [She doesn't seem entirely convinced.] Des, she doesn't... she doesn't remember any of it. I'm not sure what to say.

[another awkward pause as he tries to parse this.]

But she remembers you, right?

Yes, of course. [A pause] God, I hadn't even thought of it as a possibility. No- no, she remembers me. Just not what happened to her. And I feels as though I need to tell her, but I just--

[She lets that trail off, not really sure where she was going.]

Helen, I've met a lot of people from that side of the Veil and every time this sort of thing comes up, all I can think is maybe those memories are taken for a reason.

[he lets that sink in.] If you tell her, she'll never be able to reconcile it. Or it'll scare her. Either option doesn't exactly suggest a whole lot of happy times. If you don't tell her, you've got a fresh start with her. A way to make everything right again.

[a sigh] Believe me, I've seen what happens to people who hear too much about the things they forgot. It ain't pretty.

The last time I chose to keep something from her? Was the identity of her father. [Yknow... Jack the Ripper... no big.] We barely spoke for days after she found out. Keeping this from her? It doesn't seem right.

Edited 2015-04-29 03:26 (UTC)

You know me. I always go for the worse option. [that part's said quietly, with some trepidation, and then:] I guess the fact that we rez people all the time'll smooth the blow some. Death doesn't always mean anything.

It still doesn't change the fact that I'm not certain how it's possible. She wasn't brought back on this side. She simply... arrived, alive and well- as if it never happened.

So she could've... been from a version of where you came from where she didn't die? [there's an exhale on the other end of the line.] Jesus, Gar would have a field day with that kind of theoretical Stephen Hawking shit.

I haven't the faintest clue. And... as guilty as I feel about it all, it's hard not to wonder if it's not some trick. We saw Knights replaced for months with none of us the wiser. Why not a squire that most wouldn't know better than to think was acting odd?

[Except Ashley acted exactly like Ashley. Every part of Helen screamed to tell her that it was her daughter.]

Helen, the kind of people who can pull those sorts of tricks would have to have met Ashley. They can't just draw it from nowhere. I know it's hard to wrap your head around a thing that seems too good to be true, but I think this might be the real deal. No mother is gonna be fooled that easily, not even a grieving one.

I'm terrified to hope that it might be real. Or worse yet.. if it is and she ends up hurt. I can't lose her again, Des. I couldn't bear it.

[Oh look, a horrendous will save. That would be the sound of her starting to cry.]

Helen...

[Des is quiet for a moment after speaking her name, trying to figure out what to say. He seems to be doing that a lot lately- actually thinking about his words.] I don't know what to say. It seems to be a thing with me here lately. But I do know that if it's real- and I wanna believe that it is for your sake- then you have a chance to make it right. Whatever it takes.

I'm sorry. [She finally says after a moment to calm down.] I know it's not-- I don't mean to bother you while you're spending time away. I just didn't know who else to talk to.

[She has other friends, certainly, but very few that she trusts herself to be this open with, this vulnerable.]

Don't apologize. I wanna help however I can. I don't want you to lose your daughter again, either. You deserve that second chance.

God, it's like none of it ever happened. She looks exactly like she did before they performed all those horrifying experiments on her.

But I can still see it. The entire time her squiring was taking place, all I could see was my own daughter turned into a weapon to bring my Sanctuary to the ground. Then killing herself to save me.

[It's the middle of the night and she's been thinking about this for days. It's going to be a little rambly.]

I know you don't know what to say. There's nothing to say, really...

Maybe you should tell her then. [there's an answer that doesn't come easily for him.] It'll scare her- probably make her want to hide for awhile- but she'll know what you're afraid of, what to avoid...

God knows fear's irrational. I still think I'm damned to lose the people I care about, even when they're stronger than me. And the only thing I know to do to feel better is to never stop fighting any way I can.

[There's silence for a long time on her end of the line. Helen is used to being strong. For herself. For her family. For her team. But sometimes she can't be, sometimes she needs help.]

I wish America weren't so bloody far away. [She just wants to sit and have a drink with him, just exist there, let him hold her and talk with her about all of this. Intimacy doesn't need to be sexual, and right now she's craving comfort in the worst way.]

You know I could be on a plane if you needed me to be. Might be a long ass flight, but I'd be happy to make it. I wouldn't mind meeting the kid.

What? [It's probably almost audible, the way she sits bolt upright once he says that.] That's not what I--

Des, I wasn't trying to--

I know you weren't. I'm still offering.

[Again, there's hesitation. She's mostly trying to squash her instinct to be eternally selfless. She's allowed to want things, even if they are inconvenient for others. She doesn't have to refuse something she truly wants just because she feels like a bother.]

I'd like that. If it isn't a bad time.

Nah. It's fine. There's a few things I wanted to talk to you about, anyway.

[She lets out a small breath and nods.]

Fair enough. I suppose I should let you get some sleep, then. I'll see you soon.

And... thank you.

phone call }{ for des

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