phone call }{ for des

[daredtobelieve]

[One evening, it's around 10pm when Des' phone rings. Which means it's about 3am for Helen, but she's having trouble sleeping so this is a good way to handle that.

Ring ring, motherfucker.]

Comments

[daredtobelieve]

I'm terrified to hope that it might be real. Or worse yet.. if it is and she ends up hurt. I can't lose her again, Des. I couldn't bear it.

[Oh look, a horrendous will save. That would be the sound of her starting to cry.]

[nothingsodivine]

Helen...

[Des is quiet for a moment after speaking her name, trying to figure out what to say. He seems to be doing that a lot lately- actually thinking about his words.] I don't know what to say. It seems to be a thing with me here lately. But I do know that if it's real- and I wanna believe that it is for your sake- then you have a chance to make it right. Whatever it takes.

[daredtobelieve]

I'm sorry. [She finally says after a moment to calm down.] I know it's not-- I don't mean to bother you while you're spending time away. I just didn't know who else to talk to.

[She has other friends, certainly, but very few that she trusts herself to be this open with, this vulnerable.]

[nothingsodivine]

Don't apologize. I wanna help however I can. I don't want you to lose your daughter again, either. You deserve that second chance.

[daredtobelieve]

God, it's like none of it ever happened. She looks exactly like she did before they performed all those horrifying experiments on her.

But I can still see it. The entire time her squiring was taking place, all I could see was my own daughter turned into a weapon to bring my Sanctuary to the ground. Then killing herself to save me.

[It's the middle of the night and she's been thinking about this for days. It's going to be a little rambly.]

I know you don't know what to say. There's nothing to say, really...

[nothingsodivine]

Maybe you should tell her then. [there's an answer that doesn't come easily for him.] It'll scare her- probably make her want to hide for awhile- but she'll know what you're afraid of, what to avoid...

God knows fear's irrational. I still think I'm damned to lose the people I care about, even when they're stronger than me. And the only thing I know to do to feel better is to never stop fighting any way I can.

[daredtobelieve]

[There's silence for a long time on her end of the line. Helen is used to being strong. For herself. For her family. For her team. But sometimes she can't be, sometimes she needs help.]

I wish America weren't so bloody far away. [She just wants to sit and have a drink with him, just exist there, let him hold her and talk with her about all of this. Intimacy doesn't need to be sexual, and right now she's craving comfort in the worst way.]

[nothingsodivine]

You know I could be on a plane if you needed me to be. Might be a long ass flight, but I'd be happy to make it. I wouldn't mind meeting the kid.

[daredtobelieve]

What? [It's probably almost audible, the way she sits bolt upright once he says that.] That's not what I--

Des, I wasn't trying to--

[nothingsodivine]

I know you weren't. I'm still offering.

[daredtobelieve]

[Again, there's hesitation. She's mostly trying to squash her instinct to be eternally selfless. She's allowed to want things, even if they are inconvenient for others. She doesn't have to refuse something she truly wants just because she feels like a bother.]

I'd like that. If it isn't a bad time.

[nothingsodivine]

Nah. It's fine. There's a few things I wanted to talk to you about, anyway.

[daredtobelieve]

[She lets out a small breath and nods.]

Fair enough. I suppose I should let you get some sleep, then. I'll see you soon.

And... thank you.