Craigslist Posting: Vampire Looking for Undead Friends

[bigbad]

I'm a vampire who's been in this world for about a year. Though I've made lots of living friends, I'm a bit lacking in people to talk to about vampire issues, trade blood recipes, sunlight blocking techniques, etc. Email spike@karthurinstitute.org if you want to talk.

PS Serial killers and Twilight fans need not respond.

Comments

[slay]

gee figure that one out all by yourself, didja? must be that keen vampire perceptiveness that you totally lack

[bigbad]

I'm doing this for you, so stop complaining.

[slay]

what does your weirdo craigslist posting about vampires have to do with me?

[bigbad]

I'm hoping I'll find a vampire who knows something about vampire stds.

[slay]

that sounds a whole lot more like it's for you than for me. i already got my issue cleared up, and that is never happening again, ergo - you wanna clear up whatever you've got, that's your business. not mine.

also sneak attacking them with std questions makes you one of those creepy types on craiglist A+

[bigbad]

don't you want to know what it is? still hasn't done anything to me.

and it's not like that's my own question. i don't know any vampires you know. seems like knowing more of my kind could be useful.

besides it was kat's idea.

[slay]

you talked to KAT about this?!

[bigbad]

she brought it up! you must've told her cause i haven't said a word.

[slay]

i only told her because i needed her help to get undiseased! i spent two days feeling like i was DYING because of you!

1/2

[bigbad]

i can make sure it never happens to anyone else. if i can find out anything, that is.

[bigbad]

i'd have helped, you know. if you'd let me. don't know what i could have done, but i could have been there.

[slay]

i thought vampires were supposed to have self-preservation.

shouldn't you know when 'never gonna happen' means it's time to just back off for your own sake?

[bigbad]

i love you. i can't just get over that like it's nothing.

[slay]

and i don't love you.

i'm not gonna just come around if you wait like a puppy long enough.

all you're doing is hurting yourself so excuse me for not enjoying that you're using me to do it

[bigbad]

funny you seemed to enjoy my feelings well enough when we were shagging.

[slay]

that doesn't mean i feel the same, or that i ever could.

[bigbad]

so you've said, time and time again. if your lack of feelings were enough to make me stop loving you, we'd be all set. unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. i still love you.

[slay]

well i don't want you to.

[bigbad]

i guess neither of us gets what we want.

maybe some nice vampire lady will answer the ad and i'll move on.

[slay]

I don't think dating another girl while you're in love with me counts as moving on.

[bigbad]

do you have any better ideas? besides lots of drinking because i'm already trying that one.

[slay]

watch 500 days of summer, relate to it on a personal level, lather rinse & repeat until the message sinks in

[bigbad]

[Yeah he is... actually watching that to find out what the fuck she means. But his wis 11 means he doesn't get it. Maybe next time.]

look meeting other vamps is a good idea, whether or not they can tell me about what happened. i know next to nothing about what i am. if you could find someone else like you, wouldn't you try it?

[slay]

in a heartbeat.

[bigbad]

i hope you do someday.

[slay]

unlikely.